How often do you say something like: “It’s driving me crazy”? Or “He’s driving me crazy”? It’s a way of expressing frustration and impatience with something or someone. And usually it is someone—that person who is getting on your very last nerve! I want to talk about dealing with toxic people—especially coworkers—who are “driving you crazy!”
Someone has said relationships are the sandpaper of our lives, and you would probably agree with that—right? When you are dealing with a relationship you wouldn’t necessarily choose—like a coworker—and when that person’s continual behavior is harmful and disruptive, you can feel like you’re losing it—or as we say, you’re going crazy.
This is one area where your light for Jesus should shine, because as a Christ-follower you and I have Holy Spirit power to give us the ability to deal with toxic people appropriately. I want to share some biblical principles to help you deal with your toxic coworkers.
First let’s define a toxic person. Toxic means poisonous, dangerous, harmful, and persistent. A toxic person is one who can poison an atmosphere, and their actions and words are harmful and repetitive. Toxic people don’t just have a once-in-awhile bad day but recurring unhealthy and hurtful behavior. Here are some signs a person is toxic:
- They talk more than they listen.
- They are always right—never admit to being wrong.
- They are drama queens or kings—drama seems to follow them everywhere.
- They often lack tact and general courtesy.
- They often lie to make themselves look good or to get what they want.
- They exhibit controlling behaviors.
- They love to talk about other people—to gossip.
- They are, in general, very negative people.
Here’s the first thing I want to remind you as we talk about dealing with toxic people. They are people God loves just as much as he loves you. I remember long ago when I worked for a boss who was anything but pleasant; I just found it hard to even be around him. But I remember clearly one day when the thought came to me, no doubt from the Holy Spirit, that God loved him just as much as he loves me. I had to sit down and think about it. How could God love someone so unlovable? But it’s true, because God is love. He loves the toxic person in your life just as much as he loves you.
Step one is to ask God to help you see a toxic person the way God sees them.