When the doctor taps your knee with the mallet to test your reflexes, your leg automatically swings, doesn't it? That's a reaction. It's an involuntary, uncontrolled action resulting from external stimuli of some sort. When you answer an email or a text, editing it for errors and choosing your words carefully, that's a response. It's carefully thought through, controlled, and intentional. I want to talk about reacting versus responding because I think many times we are in react mode when we should be in respond mode.
Let me give you an example of reacting versus responding. Suppose you have a coworker who is very negative, and every time he or she opens his or her mouth, it seems that bad news comes out. This person never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything, and all day long you are forced to listen to his or her negative chatter.
What does this negative person do to you? If you're in react mode, this person makes you angry, irritated, and frustrated. Having to listen to all that negative talk starts to make you think and talk negatively. That's a reaction. It's your automatic involuntary behavior which is caused by that external stimuli—a negative coworker.
Now, instead of allowing that person to have a detrimental effect on you and your behavior, you can decide to respond instead of reacting. A response might be a smile when he or she says something negative to you. Or you may say something positive in response to his or her negative words. That positive response will help to keep you from being irritated and frustrated, and it will offset the person’s negative input by your positive one, keeping you from getting negative like your coworker. Another response to this negative coworker might be that you simply remove yourself from his or her company when you can, to avoid being exposed to that negativity.
You can see a response takes some self-control and discipline on your part. First, you must know you have a tendency to react poorly to this negative person, and then you must have an alternate strategy that guides your response so you don’t react.
One of my favorite stories about Jesus is the time when they asked him to prove by what authority he was doing his miracles. You'll find the story in Mark 11. The chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders came to him. ‘By what authority are you doing these things?’ they asked. ‘And who gave you authority to do this?’ (Mark 11:27b-28).
Consider what a reaction might have been. Jesus could have torn them apart piece by piece with words, had he so chosen. How dare they question his authority? How dare they ask for proof? Who were they to demand such from the Son of God? Everything Jesus had done was to help people and deliver them from sin and sickness. Yet, they would be so arrogant as to ask where he got his authority? He could have argued with them. He could have played one-upsman with them. He could have waged a war with words.
But notice how Jesus responds:
“I will ask you one question. Answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John's baptism—was it from heaven, or of human origin? Tell me!”
They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ he will ask, ‘Then why didn't you believe him?’ But if we say, ‘Of human origin’....” (They feared the people, for everyone held that John really was a prophet.)
So they answered Jesus, “We don’t know.”
Jesus said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things” (Mark 11:29-33).
Isn't that an incredible response? Don't you love it?! Jesus refused to be pulled into playing their petty games, he did not allow them to bring him down to their level, and in a thoughtful response to their stupid accusation, he pinned them against the wall—but in such a way they couldn't...
Let me give you an example of reacting versus responding. Suppose you have a coworker who is very negative, and every time he or she opens his or her mouth, it seems that bad news comes out. This person never has anything nice to say about anyone or anything, and all day long you are forced to listen to his or her negative chatter.
What does this negative person do to you? If you're in react mode, this person makes you angry, irritated, and frustrated. Having to listen to all that negative talk starts to make you think and talk negatively. That's a reaction. It's your automatic involuntary behavior which is caused by that external stimuli—a negative coworker.
Now, instead of allowing that person to have a detrimental effect on you and your behavior, you can decide to respond instead of reacting. A response might be a smile when he or she says something negative to you. Or you may say something positive in response to his or her negative words. That positive response will help to keep you from being irritated and frustrated, and it will offset the person’s negative input by your positive one, keeping you from getting negative like your coworker. Another response to this negative coworker might be that you simply remove yourself from his or her company when you can, to avoid being exposed to that negativity.
You can see a response takes some self-control and discipline on your part. First, you must know you have a tendency to react poorly to this negative person, and then you must have an alternate strategy that guides your response so you don’t react.
One of my favorite stories about Jesus is the time when they asked him to prove by what authority he was doing his miracles. You'll find the story in Mark 11. The chief priests, the teachers of the law and the elders came to him. ‘By what authority are you doing these things?’ they asked. ‘And who gave you authority to do this?’ (Mark 11:27b-28).
Consider what a reaction might have been. Jesus could have torn them apart piece by piece with words, had he so chosen. How dare they question his authority? How dare they ask for proof? Who were they to demand such from the Son of God? Everything Jesus had done was to help people and deliver them from sin and sickness. Yet, they would be so arrogant as to ask where he got his authority? He could have argued with them. He could have played one-upsman with them. He could have waged a war with words.
But notice how Jesus responds:
“I will ask you one question. Answer me, and I will tell you by what authority I am doing these things. John's baptism—was it from heaven, or of human origin? Tell me!”
They discussed it among themselves and said, “If we say, ‘From heaven,’ he will ask, ‘Then why didn't you believe him?’ But if we say, ‘Of human origin’....” (They feared the people, for everyone held that John really was a prophet.)
So they answered Jesus, “We don’t know.”
Jesus said, “Neither will I tell you by what authority I am doing these things” (Mark 11:29-33).
Isn't that an incredible response? Don't you love it?! Jesus refused to be pulled into playing their petty games, he did not allow them to bring him down to their level, and in a thoughtful response to their stupid accusation, he pinned them against the wall—but in such a way they couldn't...