Presented by Lauren Stibgen
Love. This rich, often misused word in our culture is all over the Bible. We seem to hold it loosely in today’s culture. Using the word love to say we love a particular food, the way something looks, or how we feel about things, people, and activities. How many times have you proclaimed, “I love this and such!”
These cultural exhortations don’t meet the biblical standard of love we are commanded to show as followers of Jesus Christ.
As followers of Jesus Christ, we are called to the greatest commandment in Matthew 22:37-39. We are told, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind…and you shall love your neighbor as yourself.
1 John 4:19 gives us the added standard of we love because he (God) first loved us.
How did Jesus love us? Sacrificially, unconditionally, and wholly. He loved us so much he died for our sins.
God’s love is not loose. God’s love is described as steadfast and enduring, sacrificial, unconditional, personal, and transformative. This is a hesed love. Often translated as lovingkindness, mercy, and steadfast love. It encompasses how much God loves us, and how he shows love for us.
As we focus on how to show God’s love to others and remember that God’s love is constant, we also need to be honest with ourselves. There are worldly blocks that keep us from showing God’s love to others. As the world creeps in, the love we are called to show gets dimmed.
One of the fruits of the spirit I often need to work on is patience or long-suffering. Of course, the opposite of patience is impatience. One of the ways we can show people God’s love is through how we display patience. When we are the opposite—impatient—we can scarcely show love.
How patient was God with you in your sin? In your wandering? Before you accepted Jesus? What about after? Clearly, we are having a conversation about being impatient believers. Guess what, God is still patient with us, bearing with us in our sin.
Impatience can show itself in how we deal with others and how we deal with situations. Sometimes at the same time!
Romans 12:12 tells us to rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
It is natural to impatiently await the end of a hard trial in our lives. Whether it is a health hardship, financial hardship, or something else, what matters is how we show others how we are dealing with whatever it is. Part of showing God’s love in tribulation is modeling how our understanding and belief in his faithfulness. It can open conversations with others about why we are different and give us a wonderful opportunity to talk about God’s love for us!
We may also be impatiently waiting to hear about something good! Perhaps it is a promotion or a new job. Again, are you impatiently displaying your waiting, or are you telling others how you trust God’s timing for you. Being filled with impatience whether in the waiting or a trial doesn’t leave us much room to think about how we can love others.
Ephesians 4:2 tells us we should act with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love.
But what about when you don’t feel very patient and loving? Is there a person at work who is on your last nerve? Whether it is a colleague, boss or subordinate, how can you be patient with them even when you really don’t want to?
Romans 12:12 offers some of the best advice—be constant in prayer. When I am feeling impatient, this is my go-to. I pray to God to give me the patience he has shown to me. And I ask others to pray very specifically for my patience!
I find a close follower of impatience to be judgement. Whether it is judging ourselves harshly or judging someone else, we clearly block both experiencing God’s love ourselves or showing it to others.
2 Corinthians 5:10 reminds us that we all must appear before the judgement seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.
Our judge is Jesus. Jesus was one of the best teachers about judgement. In Matthew 7:1-2 Jesus states, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
He reminds us in verse 5 to first take the plank out of our own eye to clearly see to remove the speck from our brother’s eye.
At work there is a fine line of judgement and measuring performance. If you are a leader of others, it is important to make sure you are truly evaluating performance and not making a judgement about someone. Something as simple as making a statement like “You just don’t work as hard as the other team members” can feel like a judgement. Stating a fact is always a better way to address this. Instead of stating someone doesn’t work as hard, perhaps rephrasing it another way can help.
“I noticed there were a few days last week that you left earlier than your team members. This created more work for them. Can you stay this week to help complete the project?” Rephrasing with a fact and asking a question removes the judgement of not working hard.
We have all been on the other end of a statement that didn’t feel very good at work. Preparing for these conversations is one way to ensure you aren’t inadvertently judging someone.
While we should not harshly judge ourselves, we are called to consider our own sins. 1 Corinthians 11:31 states: But if we were more discerning with regard to ourselves, we would not come under such judgment. In the New Living Translation this verse reads: But if we would examine ourselves, we would not be judged by God in this way.
Self-examination can help us repent and turn from sin, but when it turns to a negative pattern that repeats thoughts like, you are not good enough, you are bad at (fill in the blank), or you are a horrible friend, or even when imposter syndrome creeps in, we need to pause for this is not of God!
Finding community with other believers with whom to share these feelings can help! They can pray for you and be a reminder of how much God loves you!
While God’s love is steadfast and never changing and he is merciful to us, how often are we like ancient Israelites worshiping things other than God? While we read about ancient Israel worshiping literal idols of other gods, what do we idolize today? An idol is anything that takes a greater position than God in our lives. And, if we are consuming our time with these other idols, how are we experiencing God’s love or showing it?
Jonah 2:8 exemplifies this stating: Those who cling to worthless idols turn away from God’s love for them.
Colossians 3:5 tells us to put to death, therefore whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.
Idols can take many forms. Work can even be an idol. Other modern idols include social media and physical possessions or the need to obtain them. Anything consuming your thoughts more than loving God and loving others is an idol. When we spend our moments thinking about these idols, we leave little space for thinking about how we can show others the love of God.
Even when we think we are really focused on others, we may be mistaking activity for love; our schedules have largely become idols. From work to busy sports schedules, book clubs and more, we fill our days. Are you there in a present and loving manner, or are you just showing up to check the box and be seen? It isn’t just about being somewhere. It is about your true commitment and attention.
Have you ever felt less important to someone due to their actions or inaction? Maybe they keep talking about something they have or something they have done, and it makes you feel less than. Usually, it is because that person has an idol. They can’t even see how their actions are impacting you.
What about the last time you were at dinner with your family or close friends. Was a mobile device taking up time as an idol, or was your full and loving attention on those you were with?
Earlier I mentioned the verse in 1 Corinthians that calls us to examine ourselves; I suggest a regular idol inventory. It doesn’t take long. Grab a sheet of paper and think about what has consumed your thoughts and time lately. Did God make this list?
Another reason we don’t fully experience the love of God or show this love to others is fear.
1 John 4:18 reminds us that there is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
God even tells us, Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are mine (Isaiah 43:1).
Fear impacts us from experiencing God’s love. It can be as simple of being afraid to go to church because you had a bad experience, or maybe you are afraid to join a Bible study with people you don’t know. Or perhaps it is more complex. Walking away from those idols can stir up fear too. Fear of losing a certain group of friends, fear of losing something, or fear because you said no to a social commitment keeping you from attending church!
Making decisions to walk with the Lord can often feel lonely or make us anxious but in the earlier verses we know there is no fear in love, and God tells us to fear not!
Being fearful can also prevent us from showing God’s love especially as ambassadors for Jesus at work! Are you afraid to tell someone about your commitments to the kingdom like attending church on the weekend or a community group during the week? Maybe you are taking time off for a missions trip, but you just told your colleagues you are on vacation! Being bold to tell others about your walk with Jesus will not always be easy, but allowing people to see the rhythms of your life that reflect him is a simple start.
Fear of rejection can weigh heavily as we think about asking someone to church or about how we can pray for them. Jesus tells us in Matthew 10:19-20: do not be anxious about what you are to do, of what you are to say, for what you are to say will be given to you in that hour. For it is not you who speak, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.
Impatience, judgement, idols, and fear. Releasing all of these to the Lord is the most loving thing you can do for yourself and for others! Being transformed or sanctified is a continual process of turning your mind to Jesus and repenting of the worldly ways we block out God’s love from ourselves and, in turn from showing this to others.